1) LIVE WITH INTENTION

Make your actions matter. Living with intention simply means to be mindful that your actions are purposeful with forward movement that can lead to positive results.

2) LIVE WITH AUTHENTICITY

Living with authenticity is to not let others define you. Don’t worry about “fitting in” or being judged. Resist bowing down to superficial external pressures. When who you are, is in conflict with who others expect you to be, you are on a direct path to depression, anxiety and unhappiness. If you are always pleasing others, you are most likel yneglecting yourself. Listen to your inner voice, notice what makes you smile, what is it about that moment that grabs your attention?
Remain true to yourself by acknowledging and utilizing your unique gifts throughout your life.

3) Shed your expectation of others

News flash: You are not entitled to anything and no one owes you
anything. Furthermore, people will not always treat you the way you would treat them. People are flawed, but flaws are pathways to growth and character so embrace them. Do not let the negative behavior of others, negatively impact yours. Always choose love, even when it’s the harder choice.

4) Practice empathy

If it doesn’t come naturally to you, work to develop it. Step out of yourself and imagine what another person’s situation would be like from their perspective. Think about the challenges they are facing. Even if someone else’s struggles seem trite to you, they may very well be a painful burden to them. Acknowledging another’s emotional state is a simple gift of validation we can give often and freely, and giving is a step to greater personal happiness and inner peace.

5) Forgive

Forgiveness is a gift you can give to yourself. You deserve to be free of the weight of resentment and anger. You won’t forget. There is a lesson to be learned when others hurt you, and that lesson will subconsciously become part of your protective instincts.

6) Forgive

Always look at life with the wide-eyed wonderment of a child. Observe, question and re-imagine the way things can be. Our unique thoughts and expressions are accomplishments to be proud of and pursued with passion.

7) Let it go

Don’t obsess, over think, or keep reliving situations looking for an
answers you may never find. It is a complete waste of precious time and energy. The “why” of something doesn’t change the end result, and the result is what your are left to deal with. When there is no obvious lesson to be learned, the “why” becomes irrelevant. Learn to accept when you can’t understand and move on.

8) Don’t abandon your dreams

It’s okay to temporarily put them on the back burner when life tells you ithas other plans. Just keep your ideas simmering in that creative “gray zone” and plan to take action when the time better presents itself. Until then, focus on things to be grateful for now, and look for things that you can do to help others. There is no peace living in a constant state of worry about trying to achieve something. Take a break if you have to, then come back to pursue your dreams with a renewed sense of passion.

Change is hard and it requires a consistent effort. Sometimes we cling too tightly to the familiar, even if it’s an unhealthy state. With that in mind, desire and strength can lead to action. When you are ready, act, do so with intention.

All of these actions are based on the notion of living with intent. Being switched on… not waiting for life to happen, but rather to be in life with full focus. This is what I call preventative work. A healthy plant becomes healthy through care, good conditions etc. We are exactly the same as plants.. needing good conditions to thrive and be fruitful at all the levels of our lives.

We do experience disregulation regularly. We go from having equilibrium to not having it very quickly. We are more prone to it if we do not have a life practice as I loosely described above. But what to do when it happens and when we lose it?

Try to be patient with whatever is going on. Patience is the antidote to anger and rigidity. When we become frightened and lose some control our impulse is to introduce an aggressive movement. We pull, push, sometimes against our own lives. Try opening up to whatever is happening in a relaxed and open way-Really, it is a very difficult task to soften to our own suffering. We pull, push, sometimes against our own lives.

Try opening up to whatever is happening in a relaxed and open way- Really, it is a very difficult task to soften to our own suffering.

I mentioned the Buddhist concept of Shenpa previously in an earlier talk. A lot of the time our inner chaos begins with an initial perception- it can be a sight, sound, thought… something being said. This gives rise to a feeling of discomfort. This is the subtlest presentation of Shenpa. The subtlest beginning of getting hooked. Energetically there is a perceptible pull. Reflect on this for yourselves for a moment… when this happens for you.

It’s like an itch that requires a scratch.

In this initial tug of ‘for’ or “against’ is the place we can remain steady as a rock. You do this by having a daily meditative practice (which I can teach you!) as your foundation- you have some sort of life process as is outlined at the start here… and then you develop a new habit of experiencing that tug as restless energy without fanning it with the ember of thought.

If you stay present with the rawness of our direct experience, emotional energy can move through us without getting stuck. It is not easy. It really takes practice . It does work.